Table For One Please
I asked for a table for one and the hostess halted for a second, "For one?" she repeated. I nodded. She seated me at a small table for two near the window and a few minutes later a waiter came over and said he'd bring me a water while I waited for my guest. "It's just me". He raised an eyebrow, smiled, and said "Oh sorry." I smiled back and started reading the menu.
I found a cute local spot for dinner. I went to the bar and pulled out a high top and sat down and smiled at the bartender. He slid a napkin and a wine list my way across the top and asked "accapella?" I said "excuse me?" and he simple asked if I was alone. Yup.
Yup, I was alone.
In my years of traveling, mostly solo, I've become completely accustomed to doing things alone: going out to eat, working at a coffee shop, catching a movie, seeing a play, touring a museum, wine tastings, hitting up a bar, going for a historical tour. In fact, I'd venture to say sometimes I even prefer it. I relish in the quiet moments, my own timeline, my own agenda. When I first started traveling it definitely felt awkward to go out to dinner by myself; I was worried what others would think of me being alone. I was embarrassed to be solo. I didn't want to be that "pathetic" woman sitting by herself at dinner reading a book or that "lonely" girl at the movies who has no friends to hang with on a Saturday afternoon.
However as I became more comfortable and confident in myself I realized that its others who are awkward about my aloneness.
Actually, I think my aloneness makes them uncomfortable! Has anyone else encountered this?
It's like they don't know how to deal with me being alone... Do they acknowledge it? Joke about it? Ignore it completely? It's actually quite comical!
It was while I was sitting at that coastal town bar when the bartender made a bad joke (because by definition accapella means singing without instruments in the background....which could be one person or a group of people. So fail Mr. Bartender. You should've asked if I was "monologue" or something...or maybe my sense of humor is abnormal), that I realized most people don't know how to deal with people who are okay with being alone.
The thing is, you don't have to wait to travel to be comfortbable with being alone! You can go out by yourself in your own town. In fact, if you've never gone out to eat alone or seen a movie by yourself I sincerely encourage you to do it, you'll be surprised how much people really don't pay attention.
Want to know a secret? We're a self-absorbed society. Shocker, I know. We're so wrapped up in our own thoughts of not being embarrassed or awkward that we often don't notice the people around us. No one is really looking at you. You should be so comfortable and secure in yourself that it doesn't matter if someone does think it's awkward. In my years of traveling I've never had anyone make fun of me (at least to my face ha) for being alone. Actually, I find that people are more inspired and inquisitive about my life than judgmental. So go out there girl and sit by yourself, eat by yourself, take yourself out for that drink or explore that new coffee shop. Be alone with yourself and embrace it!
So here's something from all us "solo-travelers" out there for those of you who don't know how to deal with our aloneness:
It's okay.
We're okay.
You'll be okay.
